Couples & Family Therapy in Palm Desert, CA.
Therapist, mama, coffee enthusiast, relationship pattern nerd, and firm believer that what happens between us is usually more interesting than who’s right.
I’ve always been curious about what happens between two people.
Not just what we say to each other, but everything happening underneath it.
The way one person gets louder when they’re scared of losing connection. The way another goes quiet because somewhere along the way, quiet became safer. The way we can love someone deeply and still find ourselves doing the exact thing that pushes them away.
That's the part of therapy I’m drawn to.
I don’t see relationships as a problem to solve or one person as the problem to fix. What I’m interested in is the pattern: how it formed, what each person is protecting, and what happens in your body before you even realize you’re back in it.
Because once we can see what’s happening between you, we can start creating something different.
Hi, I’m Sophie,
Where This Work Comes From
Family has never felt like a particularly simple word to me.
I’m an adoptee. I became a mother through IVF and donor conception. I’m a wife, a parent, and someone whose own experiences have made me deeply curious about the ways we create family, belong to one another, and carry our histories into the relationships that matter most.
I know firsthand that love and complexity aren't opposites. You can deeply love the people in your life and still have questions about where you fit. You can be grateful for your family and grieve parts of your story. You can want desperately to do things differently and still hear yourself saying the exact thing you swore you'd never say.
Those contradictions are interesting to me.
Not because my story is your story, it isn't, but because I've learned not to be afraid of the complicated parts of family.
We don't have to make one person right and another wrong to understand what's happening between them.
When I’m Not Overanalyzing Relationship Patterns…
I’m usually drinking coffee that I reheated at least once, chasing a toddler, or in the kitchen experimenting with a recipe I’m determined to make both nutritious and something my toddler will actually eat.
A few things that make me, me:
Mama + wife. Family is both my favorite thing and endlessly fascinating to me.
Coffee enthusiast. I will go out of my way for a really good cup of coffee and have unnecessarily strong opinions about Starbucks. Consider yourself warned.
Recovering perfectionist. Deeply committed to embracing “good enough.” Would still prefer for “good enough” to be done exceptionally well.
Relationship pattern nerd. I notice the little things happening between people. The tone shift. The look. The “nothing’s wrong.” (Something is usually wrong.)
Big believer in humor. Therapy can be deep without being painfully serious. If something is funny, we’re allowed to laugh.
Human first. I’m not a blank-slate therapist. I’ll laugh with you, be curious with you, and probably point out the thing that just happened in the room that everyone was hoping I didn’t notice.
My Approach and Training
I’ve spent more than 15 years working with individuals, couples, and families, and my approach has evolved right alongside that experience.
I don’t believe in forcing every person or relationship into one therapeutic model. I pull from approaches that help us understand both what’s happening between you and what’s happening inside you, because usually, those two things are connected.
Some sessions involve slowing down and noticing what’s happening in your body. Others mean catching a relationship pattern as it unfolds right there in the room. And sometimes, we need practical tools for what to do when you’re already in it.
The goal isn’t to do therapy “right.” It’s to understand yourself and each other well enough to have more choice in what happens next.
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IBP helps us pay attention to what’s happening beneath the words — the tension in your body, the urge to shut down, over-explain, fix, retreat, or reach harder for connection. Rather than only talking about a pattern, we can notice it as it’s happening and understand what your nervous system may be trying to protect.
Learn more about this approach here.
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EFT helps us look beyond the argument itself and understand the emotional pattern underneath it. Who reaches? Who retreats? What happens when connection feels uncertain? We use that information not to decide who’s right, but to help you respond to each other differently.
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Insight is helpful, but sometimes you also need something you can actually use on a Tuesday night when everyone is activated. I incorporate practical regulation, communication, mindfulness, and distress-tolerance tools, including principles from DBT, when they support the work we’re doing.